10 skills any twin mom will master in no time

Being a twin mom, you will discover skills you did not even think you had. Before you know it you are awesome at: 

1. SINGING. Kids’ songs in particular. Or made up songs, tunes you come up with on the spot. It is a great way to entertain one baby while you have both hands full with the other. Out of tune? No problem! Lyrically challenged? That’s fine! Your kids will love it regardless. It may get tricky when they’re super hungry, but what tends to work a treat is to then sing a song that you used to sing when they were still in your womb. Preferably one that incorporates their names, to increase your success rate.

2. SAY NO. Especially to telemarketers or college students in crowded shopping areas trying to trap you into sponsoring some kind of charity. Or to neighbours who ask you to please grab some rolling tabaco while you’re at the supermarket anyway. Um, you know what? No, sorry, no time for that. You have twins, they don’t. Your time is extremely valuable -  if they’d be willing to match that value in cold hard cash, it may be a different story.

3. PERFORMING MAGIC. With babies, to be more precise. One on your arm, the other tucked away somewhere in your armpit. Or one latched on, one crammed between your feet. Or one in your hand, and one in the air. You can’t quite explain how you do it but it somehow always ends with both of them fed, changed, washed and in bed, happily hugging a cuddly toy.

4. MULTI-MOM’ING. A.k.a: multi maxing. That’s maximum multi-tasking (although I really did not need to clarify, right?). Motherhood 2.0. Example: doing three random things from this very list simultaneously. Doing magic, singing AND saying no.

5. COUNTING TO TEN. A basic skill you mastered eons ago but that you’ve now elevated to a proper art form. Like when both your children start bawling at the same time. Or when you’re about to change the 8th nappy diaper that same day. When kid 1 keeps pulling out the pacifier that keeps kid 2 quiet, resulting in armageddon-esque scenes. Take deep breaths, count to ten and get on with it.

6. LIFTING. This is when you realize all those hours of lugging hand-held weights during pregnancy swimming classes were not in vain. Did you feel silly? Who cares - it pays off big time now as you have your arms full pretty much non-stop. If you’re not carrying your babies, you’re either carrying groceries while also pushing a shopping trolley filled to the brim with baby supplies or taking bags full of paper and plastic to the recycling containers down the street - while pushing the stroller. Which is also fully loaded with bags of diapers that happened to be on sale.

7. CASUAL CLEANING. Swipe a few wet wipes across the toilet, and bam - it’s all set for another day, or ten. 

8. WHIPPING UP PASTA DISHES. Or wham-bam- salads. Or lukewarm grilled cheese sandwiches. Whatever is quick and acceptable to eat for dinner and easy to prepare while mashing baby food and clearing out the dishwasher. Bonus points if it (still) contains any vitamins.

9. NAPPING. Whenever you can, as soon as the kids doze off. Honestly, nothing revitalizes a twin mom the way a power nap does. Especially the brief ones, i.e. less than 45 minutes. Anything longer than that achieves the opposite effect, but you find out pretty quickly what kind of nap works best for you. Besides, at least one of your children is bound to wake up within 45 minutes anyway.

10) ENJOYING THE LITTLE THINGS.  A walk outside with the kids in the stroller when the sun is out. Five whole minutes of uninterrupted shower. Watching as your babies master a new skill and look at you, all delighted. Sure, it’s not front-page news or Facebook-worthy but damn does it make you happy.

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Janneke Jonkman

Janneke is the face behind My Little Dutch Diary. She's a writer and a mother of twins.