Why every twin mom is secretly Superwoman

Is it a plane? Is it a bird? No! It’s a twin mom. Here are 26 reasons why every twin mom is really a covert Superwoman.

1. From the moment she is pregnant she produces such staggering amounts of hCG that she regularly attempts to hide her quickly expanding bump on the sly, often interspersed by severe bouts of vomiting. It’s not that noticeable, is it? 
2. Um, no - she had not expected twins. Ok *may be* she did have a premonition of sorts because Superwomen just get those sometimes. Nevertheless: the idea of having twins takes some getting used to, as miraculous as it is. More often than not, rooms, floors or entire homes require remodeling. A move to a new house may be called for. Endless worrying is your newest hobby aside from buying, frankly, insane amounts of baby stuff because the whole hand-me-down-thing, passing on clothes and toys to the youngest? Yeah that does not really work. Being pregnant with twins is a very hectic time, and twins tend to announce their arrival before the full nine months have passed. Even so, the newly built, freshly wallpapered and furbished kid’s room is ready, in the nick of time.
3. She looks like she swallowed a hot air balloon towards the end of the third trimester and you keep wondering how she does not just roll over more often.
4. Well, that rolling over, in bed for instance, is a discipline that requires super hero strength and has been known to break the water, typically around the 37th week.
5. By that stage she has gotten used to weekly, if not daily, round trip visits to the hospital, lugging her bulbous belly along, for additional check ups.
6. All things considered, these last weeks before labour are so tense and stressful that it’s actually nothing short of a miracle that the blood pressure monitor does not explode every time she uses it.
7. So then the time to give birth rolls around. Had we mentioned the concept super powers yet? 
8. After this, she really ought to be entitled to a sabbatical in the Bahamas but instead..she enters the toughest period of her life.
9. Comforting two crying baby’s at the same time when you’re home alone - have you ever tried it?
10. Of course, the babies never wake up at the same time during the night. Double dose of broken nights it is!
11. She does have a husband who helps out when he can, but not 24/7. Plus: he gets the same double dose of broken nights.
12. It’s the ultimate relationship test. And yet most parents of new born twins survive the first four years, a little worse for wear may be, but they manage it all the same.
13. Let’s rewind to the post-natal period. Feeding two babies can will take roughly 30 hours per day. If she could apply even half that time to getting her own business off the ground, she’d be making money hands over tit.
14. Speaking of tits: these babies  can produce up to 1,5 ltrs of  milk a day – if the mom opts to breastfeed her children. 
15. Not too shabby, considering she’s only just recovered from a C-section or ‘regular’ birth. Ah, those pesky super powers
16. Not for nothing but a twin mom who opts to bottle-feed her children, or do a combination of the two is a super woman in her own right, let it be chrystal clear. Listening to your instinct and helping yourself before you help others are super powers too.
17. Despite severe sleep deprivation and sheer lack of time, she typically returns to work after maternity leave, smiling. After all, there are multiple mouths to feed and children’ clothes that need to be bought - like, every few months.
18. But in reality work is an awesome escape where she can unwind from the utter madhouse that is home.
19. And can we have a “Hell Yeah!” for the stay at home twin mom? Changing around 70 nappies / diapers a week. We see you! 
20. While the twin mom who goes to work in her own right juggles feeding and dressing kids, dropping off and fetching said kids, does her job, does her mothering, cooks, keeps up with emails… deep breath.
21. And although both working mom and stay at home mom work their butts off to keep all the balls in the air, they both find a way of creating a wam, caring home. 
22. All the while perfecting the art of feeding two babies simultaneously, going shopping with two toddlers and one shopping trolley, or disentangling two rebellious kids on the sidewalk. 
23. Meanwhile she gladly answers questions from random passersby who wish to inquire what the deal is with these super powers.
24. However a real super woman’s lips are sealed on that topic. Some things are not permitted to discuss outside the twin mom covenant
25. Besides, virtually nobody believes in super powers. A case of: you had to have been there. But, since hardly anyone was, nevermind.
26. Clearly there are twin moms who are single, do not have relatives within crawling distance, have more kids, among whom possibly one that needs extra or special care, or even twin moms with more than one set of twins. And, lest we forget, the triplet moms, the quadruplet moms, the quintuplet moms, the sextet moms. To read more about each of these, please re-read this blog again, but add 6 exclamation marks at the end of each sentence.

Janneke Jonkman

Janneke has written extensively on the subject of (twin) mom life and is the author of the twin book. 'O jee, het zijn er twee'. You can also find her on Instagram.

O jee, het zijn er twee

Only available in Dutch, Janneke's twin book ‘O jee, het zijn er twee.’

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